Feelings of the Worst Mom

        I just had another experience that will give me nightmares for weeks. Where to start when my mind is still shocked, tired, and scared. I was just recently called in our ward as the wolf den leader. A little nervous but was actually really more excited at the same time. Our pack meetings are every Tuesday at 4 p.m. Matthew calls me 45 minutes before I have to go to cub scout pack meeting and tells me he has open house at his high school tonight. He has to be there at 5 p.m. and with only one vehicle that meant I would have to bail early on pack meeting tonight. Thank goodness we have three wolf den leaders and they were wonderful and understood. 
        Now the part were I will have nightmares for week if not forever. Before I ran out the door, a little stressed and embarrassed that I would have to ask to leave early from pack night, I didn't lock the door behind me before I left. Another piece of key information, today for pack night was a animal theme party the wolves planned. I bought a purple ball to play crab soccer and took it with me to the pack meeting. So while I was at cub scouts Addison is looking for her purple ball. I guess she thought that it rolled outside or she wanted to find Mommy and get it but she opened the door and walked outside to find it. Matthew was in the kitchen and didn't notice that she had gone out on her own. We currently live in apartments and that means that is especially dangerous with cars and we sadly don't know all our neighbors. Anyway she was roaming outside and got lost. A gentleman that lives around the corner and that we say hello to everyday passing his building, found Addison wandering. He asked her if she was lost, which she was. Asked where she lived, which she couldn't remember and took her hand and started walking around, hoping that he would find us. My husband then realized the door was open and Addison was gone, so he went out looking for her and find this man and Addison walking the sidewalk. Of course, he thanked him and brought Addison home. 
          So when I get home early from pack night, Matthew tells me the scary event that occurred. Of course, I am sick to my stomach. I kept my cool and not knowing if Matthew had or had not already lecture her about going outside by herself, had a talk. I got to her eye level and explained how she should never go outside by herself. That she should always have Mommy or Daddy. I told her that she can't even go outside with just Ethan, she had to be with Daddy or Mommy. I also explained how scarred Mommy is because she could have been hit by a car or taken by a stranger. Matthew said that Addison was terrified when he finally found her that I think that she also learned her lesson from being lost.
          Later, after Matthew left for his open house, I was still dealing with the terror and thoughts of what could of happen. I was sobbing my eyes out. Addison comes to me and sees me crying and asks what the matter is. I looked at her and told her I was scarred because she got lost outside today. Then she broke out in tears. Addison and I held each other and cried together. I again told her that she should never go out by herself again and how much I love her. 

        What a lesson for all of us. Especially Addison and I. Hopefully she learned the lesson of not going outside by herself. I learned the lesson to ALWAYS lock the door behind me when leaving the house even for a minute and I also learned once again how smart my children are. The biggest and greatest lesson that I learned though is again how much I love my children.

Sorry for those that read this post that it is so long and detailed. I have the worst memory and want to write as much detail as I can to remember the event later.